Bikochondriacs

Bikochondriacs. Maybe you know one, maybe you are one. Or maybe you think you might be one. Here are 5 easy ways to tell if you, or someone you love, is in fact, a bikochondriac.

1. Do you take your mountain bike to the shop for repairs once a month or more? Unless your bike is a lemon (more on that in a forthcoming post) chances are you shouldn’t be having it fixed quite so often. An annual tune-up and even a mid-summer once over is reasonable but if you’re always taking your baby into the shop it may mean that you (and not your bike) have a problem 😉

2. Have you ever taken your bike to the shop for a specific problem that the mechanic couldn’t find or replicate? Even worse, did you then take the bike to a different shop only to hear the same answer? This is bad news my friend–this is a clear sign that you are becoming a bikochondriac. Seek immediate professional help and trust the guidance of your professional bike mechanic.

3. Are you always asking your riding buddies if they hear that noise on your bike only to find that they never do? This usually means your bike problems are imagined and that everything is probably fine with your ride. I have a friend who is actually the opposite way–he once mentioned something about a “ghost in his derailleur” and when I heard the sound it was more like a .22 rifle being fired! Your friends’ opinions can often be a good gauge as to whether the problem that you’ve noticed is indeed major or non-existent.

4. Do you spend more time listening to your bike than to your body? Lance Armstrong said it famously–it’s not about the bike! If you’re having trouble out on the trail 8 times out of 10 it’s because you’re out of shape or you’re having a bad day. These days bikes are complex and finely tuned machines so if you’re having a problem, consider that you may be experiencing what computer professionals like to call “user error.” Hardware failure, while rare, is generally obvious and catastrophic.

5. Did you ever walk your bike off the trail even when it was rideable? This is about as bad as it gets for some folks and I liken it to carrying your dog down the street when he gets too tired to walk. Unless your chain snapped or your tire is flat, you should ride your bike back to your car and deal with the consequences of any “mechanical failure” when you’re back home. Like the body found dead from dehydration in the desert with water still in his canteen, take care of yourself first, your friends second, and the bike third.

So there you go. If you answered yes to two or more of these, you should consider yourself a full-on bikochondriac. My prescription: just ride.